Writing and telling stories are forms of art. There are some that may disagree, but I ask you to consider this. In a story, there are different ways to build your characters, your scenes and your plot. There are different ways to describe those things, and to put them together into one cohesive tale. There are countless words and phrases to use as your basic building blocks. How a writer, or a story teller puts everything together and the ways they choose to approach all of that is where the artistry lies. One creatively combines every tidbit of their tale, just as a painter combines colours, strokes, the different elements of a painting.
Now, as many of us writers view our works as art and as our creative babies, criticism can bite deep and hard. Even a little, innocuous negative comment about a story or even a part of it can sting. Despite being repeatedly told in my life about an approaching needle feeling like a pinch or a mosquito bite, they can dig deep. Criticism for a story I've written is more like a jab to the soul rather than the arm, sometimes even resembling a metaphorical version of that hated shot to one's gluteal region.
The reason I'm bringing this up is to share a few of my strategies for dealing with both criticism and compliments towards my work. It's something that effects all of us writers and I'd suspect something we all thoroughly analyze and all have to find ways to manage. I'd love to hear how you deal with negative and positive comments, so I invite you to share them below.
Criticism:
The obvious elephant in the room is negativity or criticism directed towards our work. We all get it at one point or another, to varying degrees. Being professional writers we must react to it in a professional manner. Responding in the emotionally prompted way of course would lead to an awkward situation and potentially hurt our image or even success.
Criticism comes in two forms. The first of these is the harsher of the two and deserves much less time and thought than it actually gets, but these types of comments hurt so of course, the natural thing to do is remember and ponder them. Such memories have been a kick to my writers private parts during the lower moments when my confidence has ebbed. On the other hand, if you are generally confident with your own work, you can use the emotional thrashing from captains amongst the negative Nellies out there to fuel your fire for what you love to do. Prove those who enjoy raining on your parade wrong and that you are awesome.
I'll give you a perfect example. Several years ago, I embarked on an earlier attempt to travel the road of writing fiction. I'd been plagued for years with self doubt and finally had an idea I thought worthy of work that would actually make a good story other people would enjoy. I showed the beginnings of that effort to someone who was very well read, whose opinion regarding writing I trusted and who had some university English under her belt. Now, it is worth noting here, that I warned her what I sent her was unedited, so of course was going to be rough, which did not temper her less than constructive words. I can still hear what she said, "That was one of the worst pieces of shit I have ever read."
Needless to say, that was a most unappreciated comment. It bothers me now, but I admit that hearing those words derailed my attempt at writing fiction for nearly 2.5 years. Eventually I came up with a short story idea, which I worked really hard upon and that got published by the second online magazine to which I sent it. That was the spark I needed to ignite my confidence and continue writing.
The point I'm making with this example is that I was knocked down for a while by that harsh piece of criticism, but eventually got back up and trudged on to experience success in rather short order once I had done so.
As a glass half full type person, I think it's important to look at these types of comments and take them as fuel for your fire. Gasoline stinks, but what happens when you throw it on flame? Now when I'm having a down day, I remember being told my writing was shit, and pitch a cup of that proverbial gasoline on the fire of my writing passion. It is now an encouragement, and a challenge to keep writing and to continue improving my craft, which as I'm sure many other authors will agree is an ever evolving process.
The second type of criticism is of course the constructive one, or the critique. These come from people who do genuinely want to help and do respect what you are doing. However, these can hurt quite a bit too, but as mentioned above reacting professionally to one's critiques is the best way to handle them.
They open a dialog in which you should feel safe to discuss weak points in your work with someone who is going to be supportive. I've known people, as I'm sure we all have that are overly sensitive and get offended when offered a criticism on anything, constructive or otherwise. Yet to me it seems as a general life rule, that in this case applies to writing, to do your best to handle such things with grace and a dash of humility.
I like to begin my responses to constructive comments with words or phrases such as, "interesting," or, "Fair point," or, "what lead you to that thought," or "what specifically made you think *thought*?" Asking the person to expand is not pleasant but it does give valuable food for thought, whether or not you choose to follow their recommendation. Furthermore I do genuinely, even if only sometimes briefly, consider what that person has said, and I make a point of showing them that, again for the sake of keeping that open dialog. Personally I feel that contemplating critiques stands a good chance of helping us as writers improve our overall craft, so I'm willing to take the slight ego hit.
Your Thoughts:
I look forward to hearing your thoughts. The links to my social media are as usual below, and next Monday I shall write a continuation of this post regarding compliments and praise. I look forward to seeing you then. Cheers.
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