Art of Ranting

Ranting about something that frustrates us is a common part of the human experience. We all do it at some point, but yet, in my opinion it's rarely done well. Why would this matter you may ask? Simple, a well presented rant, be it written or verbal is more memorable, and more likely to be taken seriously. On the other hand, an angry letter to the editor or shouted expletives, as two examples, just sound like more frustrated prattle from some enraged individual who doesn't seem to have a valid or clear point.

A few months ago I had a rather unpleasant experience in which a favorite travel cup of mine sprung a leak and dribbled scalding coffee onto my leg, near what I shall term the most masculine part of my anatomy, so as to keep this post relatively wholesome. Now there are several reasons this was not the most enjoyable situation in the dawning hours of the day. First, few enjoy their private parts endangered by boiling liquid, especially from a cup not clearly labeled, "HOT." Almost as bad, was the guilty party, my breast cancer go-cup, which had been my favorite coffee conveyance unit for several years was now entering its final days. Never giving up an opportunity to write a rant, I of course cranked one out for this situation, which you will find immediately following this paragraph.

"It is with a sad heart, I must today, say good-bye to my breast cancer go-cup. Though buying you was a means of making a small contribution to one of my favorite causes, and too though I enjoyed many delicious coffees and teas from you, I have decided it is now time for you to find your garbagy grave. You sadly had recently begun leaking from an undiscoverable location, which is honestly something I did not appreciate. It was yesterday, when you committed your worst offence by dribbling hot coffee ominously close to one of the parts of my person I value above most others. I assure you dear go-cup, when I made a coffee to wake my brain, that was not what I had in mind. So I bid you a fond fair well, and hope you can rest in peace, knowing that I seek to replace you, and that in future, I shall wear pants while drinking my morning coffee."

The point of sharing that little rant is to demonstrate the difference between one well written and one poorly written. A poorly done one would be something like the following:

"My really stupid, blanking cup, sprang a blanking leak and is now bleeping ruined. I hate my life!"

Both make the clear point of the offending cup, but which one would stick in your memory longer? Furthermore, which one would you pay more attention to? Even though the first one is most definitely presented in a silly manner, I'd personally put my money squarely on it as it's far more entertaining, and is not just another string of frustrated language like so many others clogging the highways of the internet.

Why Do Quality Rants Matter?

Let's delve deeper into why this actually matters. The point of venting or ranting is to express your negative emotions about something that has you irritated or upset. As a former holistic therapist I am all about letting those feelings out so you can get on with your day in what would hopefully be a more positive frame of mind, body and soul. Additionally, many of us when we are angry about something want others to listen to us, even if it's a mere Tweet or status update. Having that polished verbal outburst will come off as much more impressive, and will result in a greater chance of your point being heard and received.

On a larger scale, say you want to submit a letter to an editor, or raise concerns with a business or company that has some inappropriate practice you feel needs some attention. What is going to get that letter published in the news paper? What is going to get serious attention for the concern you are bringing up with said business? Bingo...a well written, classy sounding piece that still makes your point, but also comes across as polished and well thought out.

As a fiction writer I enjoy putting rants, arguments, outbursts and the like in my stories, often with the intention of sparking thought about a particular issue. Now, putting that careful, extra work into those rants enables me to better convey the point of view, and the ideas it contains, which of course makes for a better story.

Your Thoughts

Are you a rant nerd like me who puts that much extra passion into your rants? Let me know in the comments below, on my Facebook page: Writer Jonathan Birdsall on Facebook or on my shiny new Twitter page: Author Jonathan Birdsall on Twitter.

Cheers, until next Monday my good readers.